Do you worry about what will happen to you and your family if you become incapacitated or when you pass away? Do you feel a weight on your shoulders, knowing you should probably have some kind of plan? Or do these thoughts keep you up at night — I don’t know what to do, how to do it, or even where to start?
We understand these concerns, and we can help you stop worrying once and for all.
Meet Vee – A Model of the Successful Modern Woman
Victoria Boxer, better known as Vee to her family and friends, is organization personified. She lives and dies by the calendar and to-do list on her phone. It’s the only way she can possibly juggle her career, her and her husband Kevin’s social life, plus the school and extra-curricular activities of her 9-, 13-, and 16-year-old kids, and do it with a genuine smile.
But lately, it’s been harder and harder for her to conjure up happy feelings.
That Constant ‘Snoozed’ Item On Her To-Do List
No matter what she’s accomplished, whether it’s another successful marketing campaign at work, an uproarious yet competitive couples game night at home or making time to see 9-year-old Olivia’s soccer game, 13-year-old Bart’s band concert, and 16-year-old Erin’s Juliet in the school play, one item remains indelibly printed on her list: estate plan.
And every time she postponed its due date, the weight on her shoulders got heavier.
Vee would fall asleep the minute her head hit the pillow. Kevin was so jealous, but her quick sleep hid her real struggles from him. An hour after falling asleep she was up, tossing and turning. Her mind ran wild – what if Kevin and I die tomorrow? Who will take care of our kids? How do I make sure my brother is their guardian – he’s great with them but is horrible with money – maybe Kevin’s sister should handle the money part?
If I’m in a car accident and unconscious, who knows what to do? I wonder if I’ll be aware of what’s going on around me. I don’t want to live on machines and can hear Kevin and my brother and my kids all fighting over what to do, meanwhile I’m trapped in here… hopefully I won’t know… I’m going to stop thinking about it, it will never happen.
Can Kevin take care of the family on his own? He doesn’t know how to pay the mortgage, taxes, water… I have to sit him down and show him the websites and give him our passwords… and what if something terrible happens to Kevin? Will we have enough money? Did Erin say she has a boyfriend? Oh no, what if I die and Kevin remarries? If his new wife has kids of her own, will ours still inherit my assets?
Looking For Help
Vee’s always been independent, and she’s put plenty of time into crossing ‘estate plan’ off her list. She’s googled it, but every time she goes down that rabbit hole, she emerges more confused than when she started. This attorney’s site says one thing, another says something else, and none of them she called are willing to give her even 10 minutes to see if they can help, let alone give her some idea of what it will cost.
She’s looked into doing it herself online. There are plenty of sites, but how will she know if what she ends up with will actually work? If she waits until something happens to her, it will be too late.
So she searches the net, she reads, she makes calls, but when she’s done, she just postpones her due date knowing that annoying ‘estate plan’ is still on her list.
When To-Do Isn’t Done, It Impacts Everyone
Kevin knows something’s wrong. Vee no longer comes home excited about a new project at work. They haven’t had a date night or seen their friends in months. They are still going to all of their kids’ events, but Vee’s not cheering them on or mouthing their lines along with them. She’s there, but barely there, half awake, mustering up a smile when she has to.
Late one night, on one of his return walks from the bathroom (which are occurring more and more, much to his dismay), he sees Vee is awake. He finally asks if something is bothering her.
She tells him that she’s worried. She worried about the kids, concerned that anything can happen at any time, and they aren’t prepared. She doesn’t want her family to have to go through the nightmare their friends Rob and Trina went through when Trina’s mom passed. She tells him she’s tried to find answers, but she can’t get any help. She’s in a panic and Kevin hugs her and stops her anxious outburst. He tells her they are fine, they are healthy, the kids are healthy, and that they have plenty of time to deal with all of that. He kisses her, smiles, and tells her to try to get some sleep.
Eventually, Procrastination Catches Up With Everyone
Victoria and Kevin’s story doesn’t end in a Shakespearian tragedy, but it isn’t a happy ending, either. Turns out, they never made time to ‘deal with all of that.’ When incapacity and death came, the Boxers were not prepared. The once supremely organized family was spun into a chaotic, expensive storm that left the grieving, stunned survivors all alone, faced with picking up the scattered pieces of a well-intentioned plan that never was.
We Can Help You Stop Worrying
I don’t want to make light of procrastination because it can be part of a never-ending, destructive cycle of anxiety and self-doubt that can crush one’s mental health. (It can also be a symptom of a mental illness that should be addressed by a psychiatrist.) Also known as paralysis by analysis, it can cause intelligent, successful people to avoid doing things in their best interest. With our comprehensive, compassionate, education-first approach to estate planning, we can help you break through your barriers and stop worrying about the ‘what ifs.’
